


Christmas Mischief Mystery

by nanjcsy, WitchesBrew



Series: Christmas Thramsay [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Fluff, Jealousy, Krampus - Freeform, M/M, Mischief, Pixie Holiday Tradition, Pranks, Thramsay - Freeform, bad teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5307158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanjcsy/pseuds/nanjcsy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchesBrew/pseuds/WitchesBrew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas season offers a wealth of children’s traditions, which unfortunately are increasingly missed the older we get. </p><p>This Christmas story is a challenge for Nanjcsy by Witchesbrew in expectation of reviving and reliving a traditional and common Danish Christmas school game.  </p><p>The whole lot will of course take place in a Thramsay setting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Challenge introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Krampus-  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus
> 
> Danish Pixie Game-  
> http://www.skagen-tourist.dk/ln-int/north-jutland/children/old-and-new-christmas-games-top-denmark

A very common Christmas tradition in Denmark is the "Nisseleg" or "Pixie play". It is arranged in school classes in December and is mainly about making school in Christmas season more pleasant and bearable for students to get through.

The game is basically built on the tradition about the Danish folklore creature "Nissen" which is a mixture of a pixie and an elf. This kind of pixie helps Santa at his workshop, but lives in private homes as well. Most commonly in the attic, but also in other remote areas of the estate where it can be left to itself. The pixie can be a helper as well as a troublemaker, depending on whether you treat him properly or not - especially in Christmas season.

The school game works as follows:  
By December 1. each student is assigned a 'pixie victim' by lot. This means that each student gets a paper with a name of a fellow student, whom they will then act pixie to and have to tease and treat throughout December – of course without giving themselves away! The last day at school before the holidays, all students will try to guess who their pixie is, and the great part here is not to be revealed. The common tradition is that you tease your 'pixie victim' in a playful and unharmful way, but will mostly be spoiling your victim, e.g. by leaving thoughtful gifts or candy.

 My challenge to Nanjcsy is as follows:

"Write a story based on this Christmas tradition, where Theon gets to be Jon’s pixie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accept your challenge!!! ::wide nanners grin::


	2. The Holiday Game

Olenna managed to step on three different teenage feet before clearing the hallway and entering her classroom. Her cane moved jauntily now in victory. Hearing those brats scream a little is good for her old bones, it warms her chilly insides for a moment but fades fast upon seeing her own classroom. Clutching her cane hard in one hand and her coffee in the other, Olenna wished she had brought an extra Xanax. Thank God for that nice young doctor she found online. It was December first and that also made her grin. It was that time of year again. In spite of what any other class might do for the holiday celebrations, in her class it was a tradition every year.

She swept into the room like an elegant hurricane and students scurried to their seats. Olenna allows the kids to choose their own seats on the first day of school. Once they are there, it is set in stone. Sitting behind her desk and sipping at her coffee, the elderly woman surveyed the strange assortment she has this year. The first row starts with Joff, the blonde rich boy. He feels he should sit in the front row because he is special. He also feels that Olenna should give him good grades simply because he is rich. And because his family has strong school connections. This might impress other teachers, but not this one. She had openly yawned in the brat's face and waved him away. The boy or his mother paid someone to do his work. Olenna knows this but doesn't care. It kept the boy from staying back or having to be near Olenna for extra help and that was good enough.

After Joffrey came the Starks. Just looking at them made Olenna want to roll her eyes. Sansa sat next to Joff since he was her boyfriend. The redhead was smart, clever and pretty.  She actually brought her an apple on the first day of class and Olenna wanted to chuck it at her perfect head. The girl always knew the answers, asked for extra credit projects and was popular with most of the school. She dominated the debate club and was a cheerleader. Next to her was her brother Robb, because why not torture Olenna in her advanced age? The boy was perfect. He looked like he stepped out of a magazine and like his sister, he was perfect. Captain of the football team, class president and all around great guy. The girl hanging on Robb was his girlfriend Jeyne. Another little privileged snot..the whole row was full of them.

The second row contained Jon Snow, their resident moody handsome boy. He was the stepbrother of the siblings in the first row. His hair was long, a thick black cloud he could toss about. Olenna would give up her life savings to shave the boy's head. As she had complained to that irritating Tyrion Lannister, the drunken prick who teaches philosophy, English and runs the debate team, Jon looks like he was ripped from that stupid Entourage movie. Then came Damon, the towering charming good looking giant with long blonde hair and huge grin. He was as dumb as dirt but Olenna could easily see him getting a Sugar Mommy. Or perhaps he will go into stripping or porn.

Then there was her class bully, Ramsay. He has racked up detentions, suspensions and Olenna wonders if he has ever attended a single one. Olenna knew someday she would read about him in the news. She just hoped that he wasn't going to blow up the school or come in one day and shoot them all. Olenna has a bullet proof vest, but she treats it like her Depends. Something to keep in the closet so she can say she has it. All classes must have the screw up, the oddball one. The one with potential but the terror keeps them down. Theon was that. He twitches, he acts like a dog sometimes, wears a collar on his neck and appears to willingly enslaved to his own foster brother, Ramsay. Olenna couldn't care less except when it affects her. She is pretty sure that all of Theon's work is copied by Ramsay, or all work from Ramsay is completed by Theon. Again, as long as it gets down, Olenna doesn't care.

However today she beams at the class. Today is the beginning of a tradition that she dearly loves. "Today is the first of December. As you know, in our classroom we celebrate the month of holidays in a special, unique fashion. It is time for Pixie Play! Everyone please write your name on a piece of paper and fold it." Theon clapped, Ramsay rolled his eyes, Damon and Joff both groaned and the girls made a squealing sound. It reminded Olenna of pigs on a farm being slaughtered. Which reminded her of the movie Carrie and she pictured both Sansa and Jeyne in Sissy Spacek's role. It made her smile grow warm and her eyes glow. 

Olenna carried a red stocking around the room letting the kids put in their folded papers. She shook it up, stirred it around then stood at the front of the class. One by one each student came up and put their hand in to choose a paper. "Now remember the rules, you must hide who you are, pixies are clever and sneaky! A little gift or a little _harmless_ prank," Olenna glared at Ramsay and Joff. "Each day until the last day of class before holiday break. Can you discover your pixie? Can you hide who your target is? Let us find out!" With a smirk, Olenna went back to her desk then said, "Oh..since we are an odd number, I added my name as well. One of you has it, I have one of you. That should prove fun, shouldn't it?" Sitting back at the desk, Olenna thought of the wicked fun about to be had.


	3. All Is Fair In a Pixie War

As soon as Theon read the paper, Ramsay tried to reach for it. Theon promptly ate it, earning himself a whack on the head. "Idiot! I hope that blocks your intestines and you explode." With a dramatic sigh, Olenna sang out, "Ramsay, that is very unlikely to happen. You really should pay more attention in your health and science courses. Theon, please do not eat the papers, think of the trees, my dear..." Olenna told them to open their books. With a healthy swig of her laced coffee, she told them to take turns reading The Taming Of A Shrew out loud. Another one of her favorites about to be slaughtered. She swore to herself to maintain control.

Within moments Olenna had began throwing insults at Damon and cursing Joff's existence. "Joff, thank the Gods that you are rich, my boy. Because I don't believe you are actually capable of filling out an application for a job! And you! " Olenna pointed at Damon with a finger of wrath. 'Yes, lunk, hunk, hulk, whatever the hell term you children use today! It is very clear to me that you should be held back. Sadly, there is no way I am allowed to send you back to fifth grade where you belong! So I am going to suggest you begin to contact some modeling agencies. Or think about going on reality shows. Do you lift and tan? If not, you might wish to start. Make sure to bring a friend to the agency so they can read the contract for you before you sign it, dear. We don't want you accidentally going to some crazy lady's house who is posing as a model agent. We don't want you kidnapped and held as a sex slave for seven years until you manage to spoon tunnel your way out of Auntie Freaky's House of Bad Touches!"

While their slightly tipsy and completely vindictive teacher ripped her students apart, Ramsay went after Theon. Every three seconds he would text "Who is it?" to Theon who looked but only shook his head. Ramsay inched his desk closer so he could whisper and reach Theon. A hard kick and a whispered, "Who is it?" Nothing. He tried hitting Theon's arm and head, kicking feet and calves, he even poked with a newly sharpened pencil until he was caught by Mrs. Tyrell. "Ramsay Bolton! That has to be the most ineffective stabbing I have ever had to witness. What do you think will happen if you keep poking? How long do you think it will take to kill him that way? These are questions you may ponder on your own time. Though I would suggest cracking open a book on sociopaths..I think you might find it fascinating. But since you are stuck here with us, I would like you to read out loud the next ten pages. Now."

As soon as they left school, Ramsay grabbed Theon's arm. "Who? Who did you get?" Theon gave Ramsay a pleading but stubborn look and shook his head. With as much menace in his voice as possible, Ramsay asked, "Are you telling me no?" His chest puffed up and he started to walk Theon into the wall hitting him with his chest. "I didn't say that! I did not say no! But Ramsay you promised! Remember? Just this morning I asked again to be sure. You said that we could play fair this time! That I didn't have to tell you and do mine and yours if yours was boring. Remember? Please? I really want to do this! You can sneak around and find out who I have, but you will still let me play, right? You said so, you promised it!" Ramsay swore and then nodded. "Yes, I do remember. Fine. You do not have to tell me who you got." Theon gave Ramsay a huge smile and then gently nudged his head into Ramsay's chest. "Thank you." Snorting, Ramsay shoved Theon off of him and started to head for the car. "Get the bags, let's go!"

During dinner, Ramsay tried again. "Theon, pass the salt. Thanks, who did you get?" While Theon was using the laptop for Ramsay's research paper, Ramsay kept messaging him. "Who is it?" Four times Theon's phone rang and it was Ramsay from another part of the house asking, "Who was it?" Theon finished Ramsay's homework and began his own. When he opened his notebook every available space was covered in "WHO WAS IT?" When all the work was done, Theon stretched and headed downstairs for his allowed night snack. He opened the cabinet and there was a paper attached to the inner door. "WHO WAS IT?" Sighing, Theon reached for his bag of ginger break cookies and it felt too light. Way too light. Looking inside, Theon found only small scraps of paper with the damned question. The whole time he tried to watch his favorite show on television, Ramsay whispered in his ear. "Who was it? Who did you get? Huh? Huh? Who? Was? It?"

Gritting his teeth, Theon slammed into the bathroom after getting ready for bed. He sat on the toilet and started to relieve himself. Suddenly, the shower curtain ripped open and Theon screamed at the terrifying sight. Ramsay was dressed as an evil clown, even waving around a chainsaw, revving it while screaming, "WHO WAS IT, WHO DID YOU GET?" The clown stood directly over Theon and the REAL chainsaw was burring terribly close. Thank the Gods that Theon was already on the toilet because he would have filled his underwear otherwise. Bursting into tears, Theon kept screaming,"NO!" Finally, the smell hit Ramsay and he left the room, frustrated. It took a half hour before Theon stopped shaking.

"You can sleep in the bed tonight." Ramsay said sullenly as he pulled all the covers around himself. "It is chilly tonight, want to cuddle under the blankets? Tell me who and I'll let you spoon with me all night." Theon curled up and shivered. "No, Ramsay. I won't tell you. I want to play the game right." For a little while both remained silent, still with their eyes shut. Then a sudden sniffle. Then a tiny gasping sound. Theon peered through the dark at the shoulders just above the comforter. They were shaking slightly. "Ramsay? Are you crying? Ramsay?" A choked, thick voice came from the body facing away from him. "No. Just..leave me alone, alright?"

Theon was concerned now and touched Ramsay's back and rubbed gently. "You are crying, I can tell. Oh, Ramsay! I..I just wanted to play the game, I never meant to upset you this much over it! I just wanted us to have fun with everyone else for once." Shrugging, Ramsay responded in a hurt tone. "Its just..you always share things with me. You are the only person I can trust, Theon. You are the only one who never hides secrets from me. And now you are...it just hurts a little. I will get over it. I can relearn to trust you after this is over, I know it." A sound like an unwilling sob burst out of Ramsay and he buried his face in the pillow.

Now Theon began to mist up a little and he sighed. "I am sorry. Please, I didn't think of it that way! I am loyal and you can always trust me, Ramsay! I would never keep any secrets from you! It's Jon. Okay? See? I am always trustworthy, Ramsay. Please, say you still trust me?" Theon was desperate and finally Ramsay turned and took his pet into his arms. Tucking the boy under the covers and spooning against the frail back, Ramsay bit softly on his neck. "Thank you for telling me, Theon. I do trust you. I do. Good boy, go to sleep now." Timidly but with such yearning, Theon dared to ask, "Can I please still play the game?" "Yes, you can, Theon. Now go to sleep." Theon thanked Ramsay and fell asleep. In the dark he never saw Ramsay's shark like smile.


	4. Pixie Presents

The first of the gifts popped up within the next day or two. Jeyne found a small ceramic penguin on her desk. She loves penguins and this one was so cute. It was wearing a red bow and had large soulful eyes. It's little wings held a small red heart that announced, "For My Sweet". Jeyne was thrilled and Robb frowned.

Jon opened a small box of little chocolates with a bite taken out of each of them. With a mirthless laugh, Jon said, "Looks like Ramsay is my pixie." Ramsay started to crack up and Theon looked devastated.   

Theon reached into his backpack for a pencil during a math test and discovered a small wax paper twisted together. He opened it and found a piece of chocolate covered bacon. Crowing with delight, he stuffed it all in his mouth just as Ramsay reached out to swipe it away. Ramsay was frowning while Theon looked at the ceiling in bliss, chewing slowly. Narrowing his eyes, Ramsay looked around the room. He was going to find Theon's pixie. Oh yes.

Sansa opened her locker and found a bow wrapped around a lemon. With a giggle, she put it in her backpack then went to tell Jeyne of the wacky gift. She wondered who the crazy person was she had gotten? And what they planned to do next.

Olenna opened the drawer that she keeps all her pens, pencils and markers in. There nestled among the pens a small bottle of the good stuff. With a small smile, Olenna said, "Ah, I drew a good one this year. Excellent." With a little help from her present in the coffee, her mood for the rest of the day was wonderful. She even complimented Damon on not stuttering more than ten times on a word during reading time.

Robb found a watch with the clock face shaped like a football. Grinning, he put it on right away. Within a half hour his wrist was bright green and itching.

Joff received a chocolate muffin which he instantly wolfed down, then loudly declared it was dry. He shit his pants halfway to the bathroom during lunch. He ran fast, but plenty kids saw enough to not just put them off their food, but to run their mouths all day. There was a rush to leave the bathroom, a near stampede right after Joff hit a stall.

Damon found a coupon on his desk for a free fifteen minute tanning session and he stared horrified at Mrs. Tyrell.

Ramsay discovered a small box sitting on his chair upon entering the classroom after a break. He opened it and looked at the tiny Krampus figure. He expected something dorky that he could loudly make fun of like Joff. Instead, he rather enjoyed the look of the thing. Grinning, Ramsay showed it to Theon who shuddered.


	5. Hunting Pixies Can Be Startling

Olenna watched as the children all became terrible stalkers and worse detectives. If one went to a locker, at least two heads were bound to pop up somewhere. Even the bathroom wasn't safe from peepers during the games. So many bumbling desperate attempts to discover pixies!

Ramsay was discounting Damon and the teacher. They wouldn't give Theon gifts like this. Olenna is too cheap and mean for such things and Damon would play tricks. It couldn't be Joff, he wouldn't ever be nice like that. That left the damned Starks and Jeyne Poole. The gifts were driving him crazy. A poster of Rick Grimes from Theon's favorite show The Walking Dead. His fucking father told Theon he could hang the poster up. That very night as Theon slept, using a sharpie, Ramsay turned Rick into Hitler. He kept his eye on the group of Goodies, following them everywhere. He checked the trashcans and lockers,everything he saw them touch. Ramsay found no evidence of any of them being Theon's pixie. Damn it. Then he saw it. Grinning, he waited until the pixie entered the room and the door shut. He gave it thirty seconds then followed Jeyne into the ladies room. 

Olenna was having a wonderful day but there was a small problem with it. She ate the brownie her pixie had left her and expected to recieve a small high. Except it wasn't just a small high it was a very big one. This was nothing like what she had stolen from her granddaughter's purse. I must let Margeary know she is being cheated. She made a mental note to tell her granddaughter later that she should only buy from pixie dealers. Sadly, one thing was ruining this high and that was her bladder. While relieving herself on the toilet, she lost track of time. With her hands on either side of the stall, Olenna managed to pull herself off the toilet. Now she was in a strange crouch over it. Olenna found no real interest in moving or pulling up the underwear constricting her swollen ankles. 

Suddenly Ramsay's head came popping up from under the other stall and Olenna roared out, "PIXIE! INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR! MAY A BLACK DRAGON BURN YOU TO ASHES!" Ramsay disappeared and Olenna felt quite victorious. Somewhere in another stall, Olenna could hear Jeyne Poole laughing her fool head off.

Robb was suspicious of everyone except Olenna, Sansa and Jeyne. Today he was zooming in on Joff. It would be like that little prick to turn to Robb later and say, "Made your girlfriend happier than you ever have and I never had to touch her once." The gifts were perfect, romantic and Jeyne swooned every time. A small box of her favorite kind of rare flavored popcorn. A small notebook with her favorite type of flower carefully pressed into it. When Robb complained to Jeyne or anyone that the gifts were over the top, he was teased for being jealous. No one understood his upset. All day he tailed that little pompous prick and watched him bully and preen his way through the day. Now he was reaching into his locker and hiding something in his pocket. Ha. Here we go, thought Robb, tensing and following at a distance.

Joff went into a side corridor, one rarely used because the lights were so dim. It led around back towards Olenna's classroom. Robb grinned, knowing he was going to catch the little prick right in the act! But a moment later he saw Joff just standing there, hands dangling, head cocked to the side. Robb went up to him and saw his jaw was slack as he stared at something ahead of him. Robb turned to look and his mouth dropped open, arms went slack.

There was Theon sitting against the unused lockers in the dim hallway. In his arms was Ramsay curled up and sobbing. His face pale as death and he was shaking. Theon held him tightly, nuzzling his head and neck. "It's alright. I am here, I won't ever let that happen again. I will come with you next time you hunt and protect you."


	6. An Olenna Pixie Masterpiece

The classroom has descended into pixie chaos and Olenna thrives upon it. Not only did she get an excellent pixie of her own, but she enjoyed watching the kids struggle. It warmed her heart enough to continue forcing them to read out loud A Christmas Carol. Her little gifts got her through the massacre of Charles Dickens. Today in her little drawer is a mug, a small chocolate powder and a peppermint stick. A small crude drawing showed a cup of hot chocolate with a peppermint in it as a stirrer.

Delighted, Olenna made the drink at lunchtime. When the students reentered the classroom, Olenna was energized and inspired. Within moments the rack of costumes she had stolen from Drama was presented. She had just enough time after her thievery to write a small play that the students could act out. The costumes weren't perfect but Olenna made it work. Whipping out her phone, not wanting to miss a moment of the glory, Olenna taught the children their lines.

Damon stood stiffly dressed in a gladiator outfit that really didn't fit well, next to Jon who was wearing a black cape and a viking helmet. They spoke to each other of how history has created a gift that the damned immigrants will destroy in halting sentences. Robb was dressed as wolf and he was speaking to Sansa who was dressed in a purple cape and princess dress. They sang a quick off key song together about gender equality.

Joff and Jeyne did a small dance together that was to symbolize peace. Joff was wearing a crown and Jeyne wore a blank mask both in Sheppard robes from the school manger scene, also stolen. (In the main lobby there were two naked Shepard mannequins.) Theon was wearing an old prop that looked like a kraken from the deep. Ramsay was dressed in a way too tight sailor suit and they both shouted their lines. Theon had yelled that the ocean demanded respect. If you must whale hunt, use all the whale! Ramsay hollered back, I understand that! We are sorry for all the pollution and we shall kill with honor!

Ollena was sure she had a hit. At least until the hot chocolate wore off. Ah, she loved December.


	7. Happy Pixies, Bad Pixies!

Sansa couldn't understand it. At first it was funny, then confusing, now it has become irritating. Almost every day more lemons. In her locker, in her coat pockets and on her desk. Jeyne was receiving these wonderful romantic little things, driving Robb into a jealousy. And Sansa was receiving lemons. At first she accused Joff of doing it, it was his bizarre sense of humor. And he laughed plenty over her gifts.

Then again Joff was having trouble with his own pixie. He received a small pillow that was purple with a crown on it. Within minutes, Joff was sneezing his head off. It was full of daisies which he is allergic to. Joff was wild to figure out who the asshole was. Sansa had to admit she did recieve some joy from seeing her boyfriend so upset. They truly seemed to have a love hate relationship.

Damon had decided that he will never look at Olenna Tyrell again nor will he ever be alone in a room with her. Between the terrifying thing that Ramsay described in the bathroom stall and his gifts, Damon was beyond freaked out. Olenna had to be his pixie, who else would send him such things? He found a black bow tie and little bottles of body gel that male strippers use in his locker. Inside his backpack Damon pulled out a small DVD on how to pole dance. Then a small invitation card to audition for a modeling agency. He wondered if he really was going to end up spoon tunneling his way free from a basement. Damon kept a sharp eye on Mrs. Tyrell.

Robb was mostly focused on who was making his Jeyne so freaking delighted. Yet he also was despondent for another reason. Every gift he received from his pixie was broken. The cute Christmas tree mug broke as soon as he lifted it, the mug just dropped away from the handle. Robb loved the little toy solider that reminded him of his childhood. As soon as he touched it the head fell off. A small puzzle that was missing four pieces. Jeyne just squealed in delight at her latest wonderful present. A small teddy bear that has a tiny stitching of her name on it's chest. Robb gritted his teeth.

Ramsay kept on Theon, watching for every time he makes or buys a present for Jon. The boy got creative, even ripping open the lining of his jacket, which Ramsay found immediately. Theon had painstakingly made a tiny book of Sylvia Plath poems, Jon's favorite poet. Ramsay snatched it in class while Theon was distracted. When Jon opened his little present it was the book and inside of it Ramsay had drawn some pictures all over the writing. The first was a depiction of Hiter raping Santa Claus and after that the pictures really got offensive.

A pixie has been leaving Ramsay his strange little presents as well. There was a very well done picture of Krampus dragging a bad of screaming bad children. Another Krampus figure that was even scarier, wearing chains and whips. Theon shivers at the sight of them and hates it when Ramsay whispers the tales of the anti-Santa. Ramsay loves it and can't wait to see what his dark little pixie leaves for him next.

Theon is very alert for his gifts at all times, always knowing he must grab them before Ramsay does. So far, this has been the fairest game Ramsay has ever allowed him to play. And Theon was going to enjoy every tiny second of it. In his notebook he found a tiny note. "Check your gym locker." So during gym he slipped away while Ramsay and Damon were dominating an illegal dodge-ball game. In his locker among the dirty sweaty clothing was a small box, shiny and red. With a squeal of delight, Theon ripped it open. A perfect tiny seashell from his birth home, from his native island. Gasping, blinking away tears, Theon clutched it then thought how to hide the lovely fragile gift from Ramsay.  


	8. Pixie Battle

The windows were showing dark blue skies and the snow was coming down. Buses grumbled through it, making perfect tire tracks in the pristine white powder. Very few of the students took any notice of it. Everyone was busy trying to figure out who their pixie was and Olenna has lost contact with the planet. The latest treasure she found was a lollipop and Olenna sucked on it all day.

Now it was near to the closing of school and thank goodness. Because Olenna was watching each of the children turn into hand puppets. Then they began to unravel and that was somewhat disturbing. Whatever this was it was thrilling, but Olenna thinks it would have been better to be at home when taking this trip. Watching her cats unravel as puppets would have been rather funny.

When the bell rang, they flooded out into the snow, trudging towards their cars or buses. Suddenly a huge snowball whacked Jeyne in the back of her head. Robb and Sansa both gasped outraged. Jeyne turned around, ready to snap and saw an enraged Ramsay. Theon was right there, twisting his hands together. Ramsay took another step closer to her and snarled out, "I caught you, pixie! Theon got a shell, a very special one and I know it was you! Last month you stood behind me in line at the lunch counter. You and Sansa. The two of you wouldn't shut the fuck up and you talked about an online boutique! You mentioned then about the shells from the Islands!" Jeyne turned red then and blurted out, "I don't have to tell you whether I am his pixie or not! It isn't your problem but I can tell you it certainly isn't you! If it was me getting to be your pixie, I would put chili peppers into chocolate and watch you choke!"

Robb came forward menacingly and growled, "Watch ti when you speak to my girlfriend, Ramsay! Leave her alone!" "Oh, you perfect fucker! I wasn't talking to you! I am talking to her! Those gifts to Theon are inappropriate! They cost more money than they should! They are too sentimental! It needs to end!" Suddenly, Jeyne saw that Robb was nodding in agreement with what Ramsay was saying!

"No he has a point, Jeyne. I hate like hell to agree with Ramsay, but I do. The gifts you recieve are the same, too intimate, too personal and it needs to end. So I will say that if you ARE Theon's pixie, maybe you should make it a little more impersonal." Jeyne and Sansa both stared at Robb in outrage as Ramsay smirked and crossed his arms. "Are you kidding me? How dare you try and tell me what to do! Both of you can go to hell!" In anger, Jeyne reached down and swiped a huge amount of snow into her hand. Sansa readied her lemons.

Joff, Jon and Damon came outside and up behind the guys just as the girls unloaded their wrath.

Theon hurled himself behind a snow covered bush as the lemon and snow battle began. Lemons hurtled and Damon caught them sending them back as fast as missiles. Snow packed balls slammed kids into the ground with force and Theon tried to crawl towards the brick wall of the school. Jon's bike was there on a rack, his step-monster took away his car again. The ratty backpack he carries around is carelessly hanging off the bike and that was Theon's target. For the first time, Theon is going to manage to give Jon a gift that isn't ruined. He has been carving a little statue out of wood. Wood shop and art are the only classes he has without Ramsay. No one there cares what he does, they have their own projects.

He hid it in the art closet until it was almost done. Then he wrapped it in plastic and put it in his shoe. He forced himself to walk normally even though it dug into his foot terribly. Once they were home, Theon waited until he went to use the bathroom before removing it from his shoe. Giving it the last few touches, making sure every single shred of wood went into the toilet. Theon taped it the the top of the inside of the toilet tank for the night. In the morning he was delighted to see it was still there. As they were getting ready to leave for school, Theon had it securely taped to his calf, wearing loose jeans that Ramsay bought him.

So here he was, here was his chance and Theon crawled as fast as he could towards the backpack. Ripping through tape, smothering a scream as his leg hair ripped away, Theon thrust his fist into Jon's backpack and put the figure inside it. Grinning widely, Theon turned around and a snowball exploded in his face. It knocked him flat. Ramsay stood over him, with a sadistic smile. "What did you just put in Jon's backpack?" Theon leaped up as Ramsay darted for the bag. "NO, that isn't fair, Ramsay! No!" They wrestled for the bag for a minute and just as Ramsay yanked the bag from Theon, there was a new attack.

Lemons and snow rained down upon Ramsay who tried to shield himself with the backpack. He made sure to stand directly in front of Theon, which made the thin boy smile warmly. "Want the assault to end? Put the backpack down now." Came Robb's voice through the ice and fruit storm. With a snarl, Ramsay yelled, "Fine, you fuckers! Here, have the fucking thing!" Ramsay hurled the backpack into Jon's chest hard enough to made him stagger into a snowdrift. Instantly the assault ended. Ramsay looked over at Damon who was leaning against the wall. "So much for loyalty, eh? You couldn't be bothered to help me?" Damon grinned and shrugged. "Outnumbered. Sorry."

Jon searched his backpack to make sure that nothing was stolen or wrecked. He found the small platic wrapped thing and opened it cautiously. Then smiled and lifted it for all to see. It was a carving of a wolf. "Ha! I know who my pixie really is now! And my pixie has a trickster pixie!" Jon was so happy it made Ramsay want to puke. Theon beamed and blushed as Ramsay knocked him back into the snow then kicked him. "Get the bags, now! Enough fooling around for you. Get up." Ramsay snapped at Theon as he began to march towards his car. Theon scurried to catch up but he and Jon shared a small smile as he left.

Back when Theon lived with the Starks, they went on many camping and hunting trips. When Jon and Theon were little they loved to find out everything they could. They would climb mountains, take paths no one else did. One time, dangerously close to being truly lost, the two boys were nearly stuck on a steep ledge of a mountain. While they sat there, petrified and silent, suddenly, almost magically, a wolf padded by. They leaned forward slightly and saw a pathway they had missed. But they were then entrance by the beauty of this wolf. He seemed to stare at them for a moment, then look towards the path he came from. Then back at them. Then the wolf calmly walked away, almost close enough to touch. 

This carved wooden wolf was an exact copy of that wolf. Jon suddenly felt like making a snowman and didn't care that he was wearing a goofy smile.

Jeyne was angry and grabbed Sansa's arm. "Let's get away from these chauvinistic jerks." She said and Sansa agreed. Making a small wall of feminine outrage, the two slammed through both Damon and Joff. Both fell and their backpacks got buried in the snow. Giggling, Jeyne leaped through the snowdrift that the backpacks fell in. One burst open and they giggled harder, running away. It wasn't until they were nearly home that Sansa asked what was dragging on Jeyne's shoe. It turned out to be a squished flower. Jeyne's favorite kind of flower.


	9. Pixies Are Terrible At Concerts

Olenna was decorating the class room. She has already decorated the students much to their dismay. Each class must do something for the younger grades. A selection of baked goods, a play or song as each little group came through. Olenna knew she could not trust these students to bake food. Half the preschoolers would be pointing upwards claiming to see God while the other half shit themselves or died of poisoning. Bad idea. After watching the little play she had forced the students in proved that a play would be disastrous. Very few of them could act, though Olenna would grant that the wording might have helped in that. Strangely, the best actors were Theon, Ramsay and Sansa.

However, most of them could at least hold a tune and a few could truly sing. She brought in a list of Christmas songs and they began going through them. Then Olenna received her next present. She had been about to announce that they would do We Wish You A Merry Christmas when her hand touched it. It was a little bottle, like a nose spray and a tiny note that said, "Sniff this, Pixie Spray." Olenna turned away and trusted her Pixie to know best. Ten minutes later the students were struggling through "Carol of the Bells". Olenna had submitted the email of what they would do to the fucking principle before she came down. Stiffly, Tywin Lannister stared coldly at her and said, "Too late. It is already put on the mimeograph sheet." Olenna sighed and wondered how they came from the same timeline. 

So Olenna locked the door, pulled down the shades and gave the kids something other than pixies to worry about. With a long metal ruler in hand, fueled by pixie presents and old buried grudge of losing a solo in a chorus in college, she taught them. Bruises and tears abounded but the song was down three days later when the little kids came. Begrudgingly, her elves (Jon, Joff and Sansa) jingled their bells and proudly wore there pointy ears and pointy shoes. They handed out candy canes bought by Olenna herself while sober just to be safe. Then the very unholy sullen angels, (Ramsay, Damon and Robb) with their wings and tinfoil halos give each child small bells to jingle. Gingerbread Jeyne leads the kids to their seats, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Theon gave them each a small cup of bottled cider that Olenna bought while only slightly fucked up.

The kids were fidgeting and all Olenna saw was her future of more sticky hand snot nosed kids. She stamped her cane. "Let us begin, so we can end. Shall we?" Out of the corner of her eye, Olenna saw Tywin Lannister lean in the doorway. Olenna tried to discreetly put a mint into her mouth as the students slammed together into place. To her relief, the pitches were correct, the rhythm and timing were perfection. Then she noticed the words seemed a tad off. In fact as some of the children sang the correct words, they each seemed to take turns using words in time to fight with each other.  

 

Hark! How I Hate You!

Leave Theon alone!

Go Bugger Yourself!

I Hate Lemons Now!

Christmas, Oh FUCKYOU!

I"ll bury you alive

Ramsay, can I go pee?

No, you've got to hold!

you dick, you dick!

That is when Tywin started to glare at Olenna and she stopped listening. She just shut her eyes and prayed to the Gods of Tits and Wine. It is what Tyrion does. Olenna was willing to ask anyone to smite Tywin and the students.


	10. Krampus Alert!

As they ate dinner, Theon replayed the dreadful argument he had with Ramsay earlier. "You said we could play fair! You keep cheating and I say nothing, but I almost win fair and...and...." Ramsay snarled and raised his hand. Usually this would have Theon cringing or flinching back, but not this time. So the hand came hard and fast, Theon grunted with pain. An instant swollen red print glowed and Ramsay spat his words at him. "Yes, I did. I said we could play the game fair. But Jeyne is not playing by the rules at all! Is seducing someone part of this game...ever, Theon?" With a mixture of dark joy and indignant anger Theon yelled, "Are you jealous?  

The look on Ramsay's face was worth every second of the crack of a belt against his bare ass. Ramsay yelled at him the whole time. "And you with fucking Jon? Why do you care if he gets something ruined or not, Theon? I thought you were mine, I thought you were loyal! And here you are all giggly like a fucking little girl, having a Christmas romance with Jeyne! How dare you! How dare you! Fine, fine, play the fucking game, Theon. I don't give a shit anymore." Ramsay dropped the belt and just walked away, leaving Theon with a pulsing ass that felt way to big to stuff back in his skinny jeans. Now the behavior became one that drove Theon utterly crazy. It was the worst punishment in his mind that Ramsay has used so far.

Ramsay would only look or speak to Theon if he had no other choice. Otherwise, Ramsay used hand signals and snaps of his finger to move Theon where he wanted him. No matter how much Theon begged or pleaded, he was met with stony silence. When Theon hid to make Jon's next present, he didn't feel that usual tingle of Ramsay somewhere knowing. Ramsay was napping the whole time. A small statue of a dragon curled around a crystal was on his desk. But the usual joy of it was missing when Ramsay pretended not to even notice. The gifts came and Theon didn't care anymore.

Every night, Theon cried himself to sleep in front of the fireplace. Ramsay had put a dog bed down into the living room, between the fireplace and the huge decorated, lit tree. It was truly terrifying to be alone in this huge house, it groaned and things seemed to move in the shadows. Sometimes Theon thinks he even hears wailing from somewhere below him and shivers. One night Theon laid there, curled in his stupid, hated dog-bed wondering if Ramsay might decide he didn't want him anymore. He could hear something, something BIG and he slowly looked up at the picture window. There was a second where he saw a large horned demon looking in. For a moment, Theon almost watered the tree. It was Krampus. Of course it was. Then it was gone and Theon jumped to his feet and grabbed the fireplace poker.

He tiptoed to every window clutching the fire poker but saw nothing further. Carefully, Theon put the poker away and went upstairs. He silently went into all his hiding places, collecting things. Theon went into Ramsay's room very quietly, shutting the door gently. Then he very slowly reached out..and turned on the brightest light just over Ramsay's head. "ARRGH!" Screamed Ramsay who had been sleeping splayed out, taking every inch of the bed for himself. Now his hands covered his face and he is going to sit up in a moment and murder Theon. "Why? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? I AM GOING TO TWIST YOUR HEAD BACKWARDS! YOU ARE GOING INTO KYRA'S CAGE FOR A WEEK!" Ramsay kept hollering and Theon just kept walking forward.

Theon said nothing but as Ramsay's eyes adjusted and went to sit up, a collection of things fell into his lap. Ramsay looked down blinking, still blurry. "What is this shit? What the fuck, Theon?" Then he narrowed his eyes up at Theon and saw the face clearly. The pale, fearful, desperate face and Ramsay wondered if he had gone too far this time. Theon looked terrible and his shaking was worse then ever, but his eyes were almost empty for a second.

Then they filled again with so much need and Theon said, "It is all the gifts from Jeyne except for what I had already eaten. Those are the things I was using to make Jon's gifts. I won't be needing any of it. I forfeit. I don't ever want to play that game again. Not ever. I will throw away everything Jeyne gives me. I won't give Jon anything anymore at all. You win. You always win and I was stupid to forget that. Please, I don't want to play anymore, I just want you back!" With a terrible sob, a twitch of his head and Theon whispered, "I..I..don't think I can live without you anymore. I..don't want to..I..don't remember how to..Please!" 

The voice was so desolate that Ramsay wiped everything on his lap onto the floor. "Come here, puppy. Come to me." With a sob, Theon flung himself at Ramsay and wrapped around him. "No matter how mad I am at you, I would never give you up. Never. You are mine, always. Always, Theon. Always and forever." Theon hugged him tightly and cried into his shirt. Ramsay rubbed his back and head whispering. "Always and forever, Theon. I promise you that." Theon fell asleep to the whisper and felt safe again.

In the morning, Theon was getting ready for school and setting out Ramsay's items, car keys and such. "Wait, you forgot something, you idiot!" Theon turned to see Ramsay holding onto the latest gift he had for Jon. "I licked the entire thing. Go on..play the game." Ramsay grinned as Theon ran to him and hugged hard. "Thank you so much Ramsay..I..I think I might love you." He whispered very quietly but he knew that he heard. Tensing, Theon waited for Ramsay to use it against him. Instead Ramsay whispered back, "Always and Forever. Never forget it, Theon. Not ever, not even once. Always and forever." Smacking Theon's ass and shoving the present at him, Ramsay snapped, "Hurry up or we will be late because of you!"


	11. Dragons, Sugar And Mistletoe!

Olenna went to sit behind her desk and nearly kicked the dwarf underneath it to death. Looking down at him she asked, "Pixie present?" He nodded and his gigantic eyes watched the dragon behind Olenna carefully. "Yep. Been great till this one. Don't think this one was good for me. Nope. Can't go teach my class yet, not till that dragon goes away." Nodding Olenna sat down and ignored Tyrion while she began to open her drawer. "Ah ha! Excellent! Fancy little wrapper too and delicious. I wonder what flavor drug will be in the chocolate?" She mused and Tyrion called from below, "Was it a gold wrapper, with dark chocolate in it?" As Olenna huddled with Tyrion under the desk he muttered, "Kicks in fast, doesn't it?" Both carefully watched the dragon until the school bell chased it away.

Sansa and Jeyne considered the gift in the locker. Jeyne offered, "At least it isn't another lemon?" Hefting the small bag of sugar, Sansa said, "There is that at least." Together they walked towards their art class heads together. "Have you any luck finding out who this could be?" Asked Jeyne and Sansa shook her head. "Could be anyone really. Joff and Ramsay would think twisted like that. Robb and Jon love to tease me so it could even be them. Damon, Theon and you are the only ones I am sure it isn't. How about you? Do you think it's Joff or Damon? I mean the flower fell out of one of their backpacks. Joff would do it as a power play against Robb...but why would Damon bother? He only teases or annoys Robb when Ramsay makes him do it." Blushing Jeyne shrugged and said, "Then we know it has to be Joff."

But Sansa gasped then shoved Jeyne against the lockers. "Oh, wait...no wait! What if it is Damon? Oh! What if he likes you, Jeyne? Yes! Look at you blush, you think so too! Oh Gods, that would drive Robb nuts!" Hissing for her to shut up, Jeyne pushed away from Sansa as Joff came by. With a snap of his fingers, Joff called Sansa to him. Over his shoulder, Joff called, "If you don't want anyone else to hear, you should learn to whisper. Both of you sound like dying cats. And I am not your pixie, Jeyne. If I was you'd be getting your own little doggie's shit in a paper bag. Keep that little fucker off my damned lawn, would you?" Strolling away, dragging an apologetic Sansa with him, Joff was giggling.

Jeyne snarled at his back then turned to storm into the ladies room to beat a trashcan before class. Instead she almost slammed into Damon, who was clearly grinning at seeing it all. Jeyne stared up at him, all her ire suddenly gone. She felt like preteen braces kind of awkward as she stared up then blurted out, "Pixie?" Nodding, Damon grumbled out, "Last gift." He held something up and Jeyne had to really crane her head back to see the mistletoe. Then Damon was kissing her and she was grabbing onto his shirt as her legs decided to stop working. Gently, Damon pushed away then drawled, "If you ever decide you are sick of that good boy, you let me know." With a wink he walked away, leaving Jeyne to stare after him while leaning against the lockers.

  Robb opened the small box of his favorite kind of ribbon candy to find it all busted nearly to powder. Jon winced for him and said, "Again? Man, it has to be either Joff or Ramsay. Who else would be so mean to you?" Shrugging, Robb said, "Maybe it's Jeyne...I don't think she likes me anymore." Jon scoffed and said, "Jeyne? No, she is just excited over the little presents, that is all. I mean, you guys are the perfect class couple you know. Hell, I can't think of a couple that is closer."

Just then they saw Theon come running from the other end of the hallway to leap into Ramsay's arms. "Foolish puppy! You could've broken your neck. Come on, get off me and go get in line for my lunch." The looks between the two made Jon shake his head. Robb put his hand on Jon's shoulder. "No use hoping that will change over a pixie game, Jon. If anything, now Theon seems even more happy with him." Jon tried to fake a smile. "At least Theon is happy, that is what matters. I am skipping lunch, I want to finish the work on that project." But as he continued towards the art room, Jon thought, Ramsay doesn't deserve the happiness though. Not at all. 


	12. Nervous Pixies, A Reveal And A Prank

Damon started carrying his whip everywhere he went. It was a bullwhip and he was very good with it. He hated the thought of whipping an old lady with it, but he was desperate. The gifts have continued and gotten more disturbing. Four appointments had been made in his name to different modeling agencies, each shadier than the last. He received a copy of some dude Fabio's autobiography. Then a DVD of a male porn star called Ron Jeremy. Damon was sure that Olenna was going to be at his house soon. With chloroform, latex rubber and a lesson he will hopefully fatally forget. He sat uneasily at his desk and kept making sure that Olenna stayed her distance.

Olenna walked past Robb and stared at his cluttered desk. "My dear young man, this is not shop class. Whatever are you trying to build? If it is a bomb, I would prefer you made it here on a day that I am out sick." Robb grinned up at her and said, "Nope. No bomb, Mrs. Tyrell. Look, remember how the watch made my wrist go green? I put a new strap on and now I can wear the football watch. I fixed the coffee mug and the other stuff too. I am almost done." Nodding, Olenna patted the boy's shoulder and said, "Well, it isn't often that a student figures out such a big lesson for him or herself. Very good, Robb. In life, things will not always be perfect or easy for you...and how you can handle that can be very important." As she walked away she dropped something onto the desk. It was the missing pieces to the puzzle Robb had received.

Joff reached for his pencil and found another box. He shoved it at Sansa then scooted his chair back. "You open it for me." He ordered and Sansa sighed. "No. Do it for yourself or just throw it away, Joff." She responded woodenly, hoping her make up was enough to cover her new bruise. He glared at her then crossed his arms. "I told you to open it, now do it. Last one was a mouse head and the smell was so bad I puked, remember? Is that what you want, Sansa? To see your boyfriend laughed at while he pukes because of a sadistic prank?" Robb and Jon were growling now and Sansa gave in. "Fine, I will open it." "You don't have to do that, Sansa. Let the little prick do it himself." Jon was halfway out of his seat when Olenna came by and shoved him into it. "Down boy. Sansa, hand me that box." Swaying only slightly, Olenna took the box and slammed it down in front of Joff. "Open it or throw it away, please. It is becoming disruptive."

With a nervous swallow, Joff slowly opened the hand sized box as Olenna tried to not look like she was backing away. He peered in then his hands flapped in the air as he screamed, lunging backwards. He fell over his own chair landing at Olenna's feet. Theon and Jeyne screamed as well, Theon nearly leaping into Ramsay's lap. Then Mrs. Tyrell bravely stepped over the quivering boy and dumped the box out. A small teacup poodle head thudded to the desk. All the kids gasped or hollered, except Ramsay and Damon who laughed. "That is my dog's head, you fuckers! How can you laugh at that?" Joff screamed in grief and rage at them. Ramsay leaned forward and replied, "Because dickwad, our friend Skinner is a taxidermist. So we know a taxidermy job when we see one. Look at the glass eyes, look at the neck, no blood or gristle, right? It can't be your dog because that looks old. Unless you lost your dog a long time ago?"

Olenna confirmed that is was indeed a stuffed dog head. Joff trembled in relief which then turned to towering fury. "How DARE someone play such a sick joke! What if the sociopath comes to kill my dog for real! Whoever you are, this ends here. Joke is fucking over, I will sue you, I will have you arrested if it continues. Hear me?" Olenna rolled her eyes and muttered, "We all can hear you, young man. Now calm yourself down so I may continue class please. If you need a moment, go visit the nurse, here is a pass. Or visit the library...perhaps some of those nice young kids behind the science wing hiding in the janitor's shack. I am sure they have something that can relax you." Joff swiped the pass from her hand and stormed out of the room. Sansa rubbed her hands across her face then there was a moment of silence. As Tyrion walked past his pal Olenna's class he was startled at the sudden booming laughter.


	13. Pixies In The Head

Tyrion and Olenna sat in the teachers lounge. Both wearing dark glasses and looking like hell. With a wrinkled nose, Dany commented they both seemed to have the same exact dirty sweatsuits on. It was true. "The last thing I remember is us going into a sport store. We bought these sweatsuits and changed into them." Nodding slowly as if his head will fall off, Tyrion muttered, "That explains why there are kayaks and paddles in my backseat. They are wet."

Dany arched an eyebrow and said, "We are nowhere near any lake or ocean." Olenna groaned and said, "That is why I have a nasty text from my cousin...he runs the reservoir. Oh dear. He also sent me a picture of you pissing into the water from your damned kayak and he is sending us each a fine. Lovely. Well, that will make the family Christmas party a little awkward."

"You know, I love whoever our pixie is..but I wonder..if this is actually revenge." Tyrion commented as he popped some painkillers then gave a handful to Olenna. As she swallowed them dry then sipped her laced coffee, she asked, "What do you mean revenge? I have never had so much fun tripping in my life. For the first time, I actually feel like I don't wish my students were all dying in agony while I watched."

  Huffing, Dany took a seat next to them. "It really could be revenge, he is right. I mean, look at you two. We all heard about the fiasco in your room Olenna with the kids singing. And Tyrion, your father is still twitching over seeing two of your students fly out of a human cannon. He is going to fire you, Tyrion and tenure or not, he can have you removed Olenna." 

Pycelle a science teacher entered and sat heavily with them. He began to tell them of a strange occurrence in the cafeteria. Someone stole the large burlap sack that the granola was kept in. It was at least a four foot or better burlap sack, which meant the entire kitchen floor was covered ankle deep in granola. Tyrion lowered his glasses to stare at Pycelle. "That has to be the most boring burglary story I have ever had to hear." While the insulted teacher bristled, the bell rang. Olenna held her head and Tyrion groaned in pain. 

As Olenna strolled through the overdecorated and lit store after school, she listened to the piped music. As the intercoms crooned out Baby, It's Cold Outside, she wondered if anyone noticed how the song seemed to be a cautionary tale on date rape. Turning down a corridor intent on buying some more firewood, Olenna saw Robb and Jon. Robb seemed to be trying to talk Jon out of something. I will ignore this and keep moving, I don't need to deal with kids until the morning.

What she couldn't ignore was Jon grabbing rope and nearly hanging himself with it. With a sigh, the teacher stomped her cane. "Jon, just stay still! Robb, stop trying to help, you are killing him twisting it like that." She pulled her cart over and went to assist the idiot brothers. "Why are you in the hardware section of the store? It is very clear neither of you belong back here. You'll kill yourselves before the end of the aisle. What do you need in here and I will help you get it."

Damon was on one side of Ramsay and Theon on the other. He was being squished between the two who kept swiveling heads like out of control robots. "Okay, enough! Both of you, knock it off! Damon, no one is stalking you! It's a joke, get over it. Theon, they are just Krampus presents. I have a nice pixie who knows what I enjoy. It's not a warning, not a threat. Get over it. You both are stupid idiots and pussy cowards cunts. Now walk like normal humans, would you?"

Ramsay's car wouldn't work but his father was making him do chores today. So he had to talk panicked Damon into picking him up. "I would let you hide under your bed from the stalkers if I didn't have to fix that stupid shed. We will just get the lumber and leave right away." Ramsay chuckled as he pulled Theon right back next to him. "That way we can use the lumber as weapons if serial killers and Krampus demons attack us in the parking lot." Damon shivered.

They turned the corner and nearly ran into Olenna, Robb and Jon. Damon took one look at Olenna holding coiled rope and he jumped backwards, knocking over a rack of nails. "I HAVE A WHIP AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!" He screamed and the teacher blinked in surprise. In a voice reserved for toddlers or cute puppies, Olenna said, "Good for you, Damon. I am glad you have learned a skill. Now if you just go and apply to a cowboy school, you will be all set."

They all watched in confused silence as Damon fell twice before managing to run away. Ramsay was on the floor among the nails laughing hysterically. Theon twisted his hands and nervously said, "Ramsay, our ride just ran away..and..yep..he just peeled out of the parking lot." Jon blurted out, "We can't give you a ride! Too much stuff in our car, sorry!" Jon grabbed the rope from Olenna with a muttered thanks. He dragged Robb away while Theon watched slightly hurt and very concerned. Something was up there for sure.

Sighing, Olenna snapped, "Get what you need here, hurry up. I'll drive you home."


	14. Pixie Mayhem

Another thud and Olenna just sighed this time. "Don't bother trying to wake him, it's useless. Theon, why is your Lord Sith so unable to stay awake today? Oh, if it has to do with sex, say it loudly and clearly enough for Sansa and Jeyne to blush. Thank you." With a twitch of guilt, Theon said, "Uh..no sex stuff. Damon slept over and we kept Ramsay awake. We tried to be quiet, but Ramsay said that as sentries we make enough noise to invite extra evil to attack us." Olenna arched her eyebrow and asked, "I know I am going to regret this deeply but...pray, tell us all why you needed to be on sentry duty?" Theon replied, "Krampus." As Damon blurted out, "Fucked up serial killers!"

"Oh." Olenna nodded then reasonably commented, "Well, I did say I would regret asking, didn't I?" Allowing Ramsay to snore softly, Olenna went back to writing on the chalk board. She is reasonably sure they are the only school left using them, but Tywin likes them as much as his fucking mimeographs.  Thank the gods he is progressive enough to allow female teachers and students to wear pants. Even when they were kids in this sad little town of Westeroes, he was a stuck up little twat. He must be going crazy over her behavior, even more so his son's. But it was his son and Olenna had tenure, so Tywin can just suck it up. She laments the fact that pixie season will end soon, then she has to go back to her regular round of drinks and narcotics.

Sansa squealed with delight and Olenna smacked her head onto the chalkboard. "My dearest child, teacher does not have a pixie gift today. If you scream like that again I will be forced to commit a crime against you." Lifting a box up, Sansa said, "Sorry, Mrs. Tyrell. After all the lemons and a bag of sugar, I have a proper gift here! It just appeared under my desk." Olenna sat into her chair and crossed her arms. "Well, that is at least a good reason for me to stop trying to write on that board. Fine, open the gift, but I warn you! If it wasn't worth the squealing..I am putting an application in for you at a Scream Queen school!" Damon stared in alarm and stage whispered, "Sansa! You might be in grave danger! Don't go to any appointments she makes for you. I can lend you some mace."

"Oh, for the love of..I AM NOT YOUR PIXIE!" Olenna yelled then grabbed her throbbing head. "You kids are driving me crazy, I swear it." Arching an eyebrow Joff asked, "Mrs. Tyrell? Are you okay? You don't look very good today. All month you were so...animated, now you are just as evil as before. Actually worse." Glaring at the boy, she said, "Thank you for your concern. I am fine." Sansa stared into the now open box in confusion. She pulled out a lemonade maker and a small piece of paper floated past it. Joff grabbed it and read out loud, "When life gives you lemons..." Sansa said, "My mother says that all the time and it drives me crazy...Robb, you asshole!" Robb dissolved into laughter and pointed at her. "You should have seen your face every time you got a lemon! I had so much trouble not laughing the whole time!"

"That was as boring as the granola theft story." Grumbled Olenna who got up and went to find Tyrion to get some painkillers for her head. "Don't kill each other or at least not until I am far down the hall." Damon came forward and crouched down between Sansa and Jeyne's desks. "Here Sansa, have a chocolate, a proper pixie gift." Then Damon grinned at Jeyne who blushed and he said, "Here you are little victim. Last pixie gift." Joff had been frowning as Sansa happily ate the small fudge ball. Jeyne ate hers even as Robb's face turned thunderous. "You! You bastard! Those were way too personal and you know it!" Damon slowly stood to his full height and towered over the still sitting Robb. "I played by the rules, it is your own mind that took it as romantic. Perhaps it is your own guilty mind that decided it. Maybe you should pay more attention to your girl so you won't get so possessive and angry."  

Robb just gaped as Damon turned away to glare at Joffrey. "And you? Don't you even start to speak, you little pansy. When your girl was upset I never once saw you do anything but laugh. If you had given Sansa comfort yourself, I wouldn't have needed to do it." Damon was basking in the glow of the girls' eyes when Ramsay staggered forward, yawning. He widened his eyes then said, "Oh shit! Those were your chocolate balls? I thought Theon was trying to sneak Jon a last gift! That filling isn't fudge anymore!"

When Olenna came back into the room, it was full of chaos. Sansa and Jeyne were throwing up everywhere, Ramsay was on the ground laughing like a hyena. Jon and Theon were trying to hold the flow of vomit back and catch it in buckets. Damon was babbling apologies like a lunatic while Joff and Robb were pummeling him. "What the hell has happened in here?" She nearly shrieked. Ramsay rolled further away from the mess and gasped out, "The girls got sick sucking on Damon's balls!" "Only because you fucked with them first!" Jon yelled angrily and Olenna shook her head. "And how do I turn that into a sentence I can say to the school nurse?" She mused as she began to open the class windows.


	15. Dark Pixies

Olenna and Tyrion kept trying to get shaking hands to bring laced coffee to their dehydrated lips. Shaking their heads, Dany and Pycelle watched. When Tyrion raised his arms to stretch and Olenna belched both teachers made a hasty retreat. "Oh, when the hell did you last shower or brush your teeth? Both of you are disgusting, you are clearly sick! What the hell is going on?"

Tyrion shook his head and said, "I spent the night on the toilet, think I caught a stomach bug. Didn't think I need to shower, I changed my shirt. My skin crawls too much for it really." Olenna wiped the sweat from her brow and jerked her shoulders. "I forgot. The pixie only left me a small lemon drop, the bastard. I felt well and by the time I would have taken my bubble bath, I didn't anymore. I felt worse than ever. Oh, then I spent the night in my bathroom as well."

Just then the door burst open and Joff entered the teachers lounge with a smirk. "Mr. Lannister asked me to pass this out to every teacher. Drug test tomorrow morning, mandatory. Oh, Uncle Tyrion, Mrs. Tyrell, you look awful! I am so glad that I found out about this drug test the day I drew your names in that stupid fucking game you force me to play every damned year. Oh, I used your Christmas bonuses for the Grade A Heroin. Enjoy spending your holiday vacations in detox!" Joff bounced out of the room, snickering. Olenna put her head into her hands and says, "A new low. Getting hooked on H without even knowing it." Tyrion stared emotionless at the door and muttered, "Someone needs to kill that boy."

Joff was riding on the natural high of victory when he felt terrible, horrible PAIN! He had been humming to himself while opening his locker, he reached in and PAIN! Howling at the top of his lungs, Joff pulled out his middle and index finger mashed in a mouse trap. "Oh, fuck it hurts!" As he spun around, there was Sansa with a terrifying look on her face. It was totally without any emotion whatsoever but her lips seemed to almost form a gentle smile. "Don't you ever bruise me again, Joff. Or I will be even more silent a pixie." Leaving Joff to try and pry the trap off his broken fingers, Sansa went to art class with her brothers. 

Damon asked if he could stay over Ramsay's again and Theon agreed for him. Earning him a smack in the head. "Sorry, Ramsay! But we need all the help we can get. I am sure its a threat, this Krampus stuff." Ramsay growled that they were both stupid but that Damon could stay over if he was so scared. He called them both pussies and shoved them into his car with a large grin.

 


	16. Damie Gets A Scare

Roose stared at the three boys, two shifting nervously, one grinning like a lunatic. "No parties, Ramsay." Ramsay agreed there would be no parties. "No pranks, no destroying my house in your games, hear me?" Ramsay said he him heard. Then grinned wider and Roose narrowed his eyes. "I mean it, young man. I did not appreciate having to do favors for the police commissioner the last time the police were called here." Ramsay winced in memory of that and Roose seemed happier then. "I will call you tomorrow morning. Have a nice weekend, boys."

An hour later there was gunfire and screaming. Ramsay's eyes glowed and his cheeks were flushed as he murdered countless in his way. Shutting his game off, Ramsay stretched and shivered. "Hey, Damon! The firewood is out back, could you grab it for me? Theon is too fucking weak and can never carry in enough." Damon looked at the dark window and muttered, "Why can't you go?"

Ramsay snorted and swatted Theon's head lightly as it rested on his leg. "Can you hear him, Theon? Is he just a fucking savage?" Wisely, Theon said nothing and Damon stood up reluctantly. "I am letting you practically live here rent free, eating my food, using my utilities. You might as well move in for real at this point. So if I ask a small thing like, fetching some wood right outside the damned door, you should get it!"

Wincing, Damon put on his jacket and mumbled, "You don't have to get so nasty, Ramsay!" He cautiously opened the door and flicked on the harsh porch lights. The festive Christmas lights were not enough for Damon. Why did he have to pick Ramsay's house to stay at? In the middle of the woods, middle of nowhere. Stupid of him and too late now. Nearly tiptoeing, sliding against the house, one hand on his whip, Damon headed for the wood.

Swearing, he saw that Ramsay lied, the wood was not against the house near the door. No, it was over at the chopping block just out of the lights. Fuck. He took a deep breath and remembered he was huge, he was the bully, the predator. So Damon ran as fast as he could to the block and piled wood into his arms.

Two steps back towards the house he heard it. Someone behind him and then he heard a high pitched feminine giggle. With a scream worthy of any scream girl college, Damon threw the wood and ran for the house. "RAMSAY! HELP ME! CALL THE POLICE, SHE IS HERE! OH MY GOD, DON'T LET HER KILL ME, DON'T LET HER RAPE ME, SAVE ME, RAMSAY!"

Damon tried to open the door but it was locked then the lights were out too. "FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Damon ran towards the other end of the house to another door while readying his whip. "ITS NOT FUNNY! YOU SICK FUCKING TEACHER THEY WILL PUT YOU AWAY FOR EVER FOR THIS! LEAVE WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME!" He hollered wishing he brought his cell with him. 

Suddenly, there was a figure looming in front of him, dressed in all black. Damon nearly fell backwards before snapping out his whip at the person who remained just out of reach. "Oh, you are so handsome, Damie boy. Just tell me you'll be my fucktoy and we can go home!" But now Damon saw the height and width of the person and he sagged down against the house. "Ramsay, I fucking hate you! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

Ramsay laughed and said, "Aww, is that any way to talk to your pixie, Damie boy?" "Was Theon in on this too?" Asked Damon while he tried to get strength back in his legs. "No. I begged Ramsay not to do this but he never listens to me, you know that." Theon said as he came from the shadows, looking sad and angry with Ramsay. "Oh, you both have no sense of humor." Chided Ramsay. "Oh, hey, where are you going, Damon?"

Angry, Damon stormed to his truck and left, too angry and relieved all at once to get his stuff. "Oh for fucks sake," Ramsay growled then went to collect the wood. "Get inside before you freeze, stupid!" He snapped at Theon who giving Ramsay a hurt look went inside. He kept watch just in case from the windows, circling the house.  

Ramsay heard the sounds and started to turn around. "Hey, you fucking idiot, I said stay inside!" Then he finished turning and screamed once. Theon leaned out the door and whispered, "Ramsay? Are you calling me? Ramsay?" With a sigh, Theon went back inside the house.  


	17. The Krampus Vs. The Pixies

Jeyne and Sansa were just crossing the street when a truck came rocketing at them. Screeching, both tried to jump back and Jeyne fell. With a terrible shriek, the brakes shuddered the metal to a halt seconds before connecting with Sansa's nose. Damon leaped out of the truck and then yanked his hair, "OH FUCKBALLS! CAN THIS NIGHT GET ANY WORSE? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? OH GODS! DID I KILL JEYNE?" "No, you didn't kill Jeyne, you jerk!" Jeyne hollered as Sansa tried to help her up. Just for Damon to try and reach for Jeyne as well. Which meant his big shoulder smashed Sansa onto the ground. "AH FUCKTITS!" He roared and Jeyne clapped her hands onto her ears. "Can you stop the shouting? What has you all King Kong?"

As Damon grabbed each girls gloved hand and yanked them upright, nearly out of their sockets he yelled, "RAMSAY! HE WAS MY PIXIE AND NEARLY PUT ME IN THERAPY! MY GODS, I ACCUSED THE TEACHER OF STALKING ME!" Sansa winced at the scream and said, "Don't worry about that. I heard she and Mr. Lannister got checked into a rehab in the mountains right after school. She will probably think she imagined the whole thing when she returns. If she gets to return." Jeyne sighed and muttered, "Look, we are going to get some hot chocolate, why don't you join us? Save us the walk if you can drive like a civilized person, that is." Damon nodded, helped the girls into the truck and drove them to the nearest coffee shop.

"So what makes you both away from your boyfriends on a Friday night?" asked Damon, regaining his flirtatious nature, a third of the way through his chocolate. Sansa looked up at Damon with a tiny smile and said, "Joff needs some time alone to think." Something in her eyes made Damon shiver and turn to Jeyne. "I can't believe Robb didn't have some perfect date plan for you all marked on his calendar." An angry glint in her eyes, Jeyne sneered, "I got cancelled and Jon was penciled in. Whatever was so important was also very secret and they can just go to hell."

Raising his eyebrows, Damon said, "Wait...process of elimination here...Jon has to be Ramsay's pixie!" With a grin, Sansa finally broke and commented, "No, Jon isn't his pixie. He is Ramsay's Krampus." Jeyne started to giggle and so did Damon. Then Damon sat up fast. "Wait. Theon is up there too!" Sansa shook her head. "Don't worry, Jon would NEVER hurt Theon!" Damon began to stand, throwing money onto the table. "That isn't what I am worried about. You see, Ramsay wasn't scared or on edge over the Krampus, Theon was. And he is armed." Sansa and Jeyne both screamed, "WHAT?" Damon said, "Stop screaming and get in the truck! We have to hurry!"   

Ramsay had screamed once when he had turned and saw the horns. Then a fist hit him and the next time he resurfaced, he was in a fucking bag. A damned burlap sack, being dragged across the snow, which seeped in. Rocks cut him and roots smashed his already sore body as he growled, biting through the rope on his wrists. He was going to come out of this sack swinging, if he doesn't get knocked out cold by a rock.

Only halfway through the rope on his wrists the sack stopped. Before it opened a brutal kick came to his stomach and he writhed trying to breathe. That is when the bag opened and he was yanked out with a knee slamming into his stomach to pin him there. A ball gag was shoved into his mouth and he stared up angrily at Jon who was grinning like a lunatic. Wearing horns on his, face painted gruesomely. Patting Ramsay's cheek tenderly, Jon giddily assured him, "It gets worse from here."

With Robb's help, who looked disapproving of the whole thing, but grudgingly assisting, they hung Ramsay. Upside down from the largest tree they could find. Next to it was Jon's project, a large statue of Krampus. It was crude but it worked, it seemed to be pulling Ramsay from the sack as Jon took pics from many angles. "Now, I will have this uploaded to everyone by dawn, Ramsay. Let's see how you like being the victim of a good prank!" 

"Okay, one last set and we have to let him down." Jon commented. Huffing, Robb moved away a little and waited with Jon's phone. "Hurry up and end this." Ramsay twisted in his bonds and Jon fixed his horns and approached as if another Krampus coming to torment his hanging victim.  That was when Theon came from the shadows like a nightmares. Bellowing a war cry, wielding a spiky baseball bat, Theon came and cracked it against the demon menacing his Master.

Two blows had Jon down and bleeding, groaning. Robb came rushing over but Theon was in a panic. Another swoosh and Robb jumped back then ran behind a tree. Ramsay was trying to screech through the gag as Theon sliced through the rope. Ramsay landed with a thump which stunned him. Jon groaned and Theon was up with the bat , ready to deliver a killing blow. Ramsay ripped the ball gag out and yelled, "Theon! No! It's Jon!" Ramsay crawled over and pulled the bat from his stunned pet. "Jon?" He nodded and said, "Yeah, it's Jon and Robb. Playing Krampus, playing a nasty stupid prank."

Damon, Sansa and Jeyne got there just as Ramsay was hugging his sobbing pet. Robb was trying to figure out how bad Jon's injuries were. Luckily, Jon was mainly just bruised with tiny cuts. With a little grin, Jeyne said, "I have an idea. Hey, Sansa, think Joff will come out if you say you want to see him to apologize?" He did and by the time Joff regretted it, it was too late. Ramsay grinned with satisfaction at the work he helped complete and said, "I am glad that you all got to enjoy this with me." Too late did he see the look in their eyes, even his beloved pet who just said, "It was an ugly trick you pulled on Damon. I can't defend you this time, Ramsay. Sorry." Damon and the girls had Ramsay down and up in minutes.

Tyrion and Olenna were sitting together in a grey common room. They stared out the windows at the snow swirling and drank their watery decaf coffee. They had been halfheartedly playing a game of Jenga which they have both lost repeatedly. "Who is the sadist who leaves balance games for junkies and drunks to play?" Complained Olenna as a nurse came in. "Good news, you two! Seems like your students sent you each a postcard!"

Both laughed for a half hour over it before hanging it in their rooms at the rehab. Hung upside, tied like deer and covered in tinsel along with glowing lights were Robb, Jon, Joff and Ramsay. Each had a shiny apple in their mouths and even upside you could see that they were all crying. Sansa, Jeyne, Damon and Theon were all wearing Santa hats and waving to the camera. "HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE PIXIES!" Were the only words on the card.


End file.
